I’ve not felt like me in about five weeks. It all started with a simple UTI, and spiraled into much more. Or at least it seemed that way to me.
I struggled with the fear of what was really wrong, made several trips to the doctor, all the while worrying more about the strain of bills that would follow than what they would say.
I couldn’t work out, which led to a problem I haven’t had in years. I was hit with a dose of depression and anxiety.
I realized toward the end that I hadn’t prayed about the situation much at all. I thought about what was going on, but I didn’t pray like I should have. I wasn’t in study like I should have been.
I was like a zombie really.
The last two days I feel more like me. I’ve had to take hormones for a cyst and medication for the anxiety and depression, but I am coming out of the fog.
I even got to work out. It felt so good! I had only worked out three times in the last five weeks.
It felt good to sweat. To scrub the kitchen. To vacuum. To look up in the sky and see the shining sun and think it is beautiful.
It’s good to be back.
Thank you Lord, for carrying me through, even though I didn’t lean on you as I should have.
Sam, I am sorry that you have had such a hard time. Really, I am. I hope the medications that you are taking will restore your health! Recently, I have had anxiety attacks, and I have found that when they hit, if I will immediately call to mind the many prayer requests that I am aware of and I start praying for them. It seems to calm me down, and it shifts the focus away from my anxious thoughts about myself to praying and thinking about someone else. Hopefully, the meds will help you get a handle on the depression and anxiety, and maybe you can try my little strategy too! I have added you to my prayer list as well, so know that I will be praying for you! :)
Getting back to exercise should help you feel better too.
Hugs!
Roan
Thank you so much Roan. I will do what you suggest, I am sure it will help. Exercise will too, I’m sure. <3
Sam Kelley recently posted..Learning to Lean
Sam, im so sorry you havent been feeling well. Know that you are in my prayers. I struggle with fear and anxiety myself, so I understand what you are going through. I was actually getting ready to put together a similar post. It seems as though here lately we’ve had one problem arise after another. Praying for your healing, peace, and strength! Hugs friend!
Thank you, sweet Maranda. <3
Sam Kelley recently posted..Learning to Lean
AMEN sista. Why do we not realize sometimes that we forgot to lean on Him DURING the situation, like we should have. I can relate. Hugs and blessings. Glad you are feeling better!!
Thank you Dawn. :)
Sam Kelley recently posted..Learning to Lean
I have no other choice but to lean on the Lord right now and it’s so hard. I had surgery on thursday that turned in a different direction and my husband lost his job on friday (he told me sunday when I was finally home). Our marriage has been horrible for years and I think this is God’s perfect timing for me because I can’t do anything about it. I can’t get mad and leave or tell my husband to leave like I normally would. I need my husband and God so much right now. I can’t try to “fix” this situation this time, only HE can. I’m glad your feeling better and love your posts. Praying for complete healing for you.
Kim- I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I will add you to my prayer list.
Sam Kelley recently posted..Learning to Lean
welcome back, friend! So thrilled to hear you’ve found your way and looked to Him during the process. I’m certain the time it took was shortened as a result!
Hugs to you!
Thanks, Nikki. :)
Sam Kelley recently posted..Learning to Lean
I am so sorry that you have been going through such a difficult time. It’s funny how we get to know one another through our computers and how in tune we can be with one another. It seems many of us (self included) are going through personal struggles and times of self evaluation, prioritizing what we want from life, and how to achieve what is truly important. Glad you are feeling better!
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Praying for you as well. :)
Sam Kelley recently posted..Learning to Lean
Oh, Sam, I’m praying for you! We serve an amazing God who comforts us even in depression. I’d love for you to read my story and review my Ebook that releasees March 12: http://www.findingjoyindepression.com
Amanda @ The Pelsers recently posted..Giveaway: Soundbites From Heaven
Thanks, Amanda.
Sam Kelley recently posted..Learning to Lean
Your title made me think of the song by the same name (I assume that’s what sparked it?). Since I saw the title in the post on my phone, Its been in my head. But I’ve been thinking, perhaps it is more accurate to say, “Leaning to Learn.” Perhaps we have it backward. I know I do at times. Sorry I’ve not been more spiritual help. I love you. I need to be better. :)
Rick Kelley (@rickkelley365) recently posted..Notable Quotable: The Christian Life
Never heard the song-weird right? I love you.
Sam Kelley recently posted..Learning to Lean
I truly understand where you are coming from… I really struggled this last month myself. We got the flu, and it threw everything in my life out of balance, and I have literally just been out of it all month. The last couple days I feel more like myself and I am coming out of my fog also.
Jesus is with us, even when we forget to seek Him as we should. Hugs!
Anna recently posted..It’s quite windy out there…..
Isn’t it crazy how illness throws EVERYTHING off?
Sam Kelley recently posted..Learning to Lean
without trying to be presumptuous about your problem – let me say – girl, I get it! I struggle every day with my health because of RA – pain is bad enough, but having no energy to do the 500 things a day on my list – letting go of what I “think” needs to happen each day – it’s depressing to deal with bad health – I have to stay in the Word and keep on laying it at the feet of Jesus – otherwise, I’m sunk. I get tired of feeling bad, tired of feeling like I’m whining to God when I ask for His help – tired of being tired – He is my answer – He’s THE answer – He loves us. I’m so glad you’re doing better – I’m praying for you now & I love the honesty in this post. Thanks my friend. :)
kelli- AdventurezInChildRearing recently posted..Kids N Kitchen – Link Up #3 – Welcome Carrie from Young Living Oil Lady!
Thank you, friend. It feels good to know I’m not alone. Maybe I just need to see the ocean finally. ;)
Sam Kelley recently posted..Learning to Lean
i don’t know why it takes me a while to realize that i haven’t really prayed or that i’ve gotten out of my Bible reading… when things are well and good, it is so easy to keep relying on myself, which just spirals into trouble and no good. praise God that He doesn’t give up on me and has patience with my pride and laziness!
i’m glad you are feeling better, sam!
MarshaMarshaMarsha recently posted..psalm 19:1-3
Ridiculous, isn’t it? I am glad to be feeling better too. Have a blessed weekend.
Sam Kelley recently posted..Ache
I’ve been so busy with the move, Sam, that I haven’t been here as much as usual. I’m sorry I wasn’t around to encourage you, but glad you are on the mend.
Lots of water with lemon–my trick for a simple cleanse. Especially first thing in the morning. I actually cured myself of a kidney infection with half a lemon in warm water every hour on the hour.
Bless you. Hope everything is back to normal soon.
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I will try that next time!